Avoidance is one of the most common coping skills for anxiety, and it’s also one of the most harmful in the long run.

Avoidance happens when we delay, ignore, or push away situations, emotions, or responsibilities that make us feel uncomfortable. These situations often feel overwhelming, stressful, or anxiety-provoking, so avoiding them provides short-term relief.

Unfortunately, avoidance doesn’t reduce anxiety — it feeds it.

What Is Avoidance as a Coping Skill?

Avoidance is a coping behavior where we try to protect ourselves from discomfort by not engaging with something that feels hard or scary. This might include:

• Avoiding difficult conversations
• Avoiding medical or mental health appointments
• Avoiding work, emails, or deadlines
• Avoiding emotions, grief, or past experiences

While avoidance can temporarily lower anxiety, it prevents resolution. Because the issue remains unresolved, anxiety continues to grow in the background.

Why Avoidance Makes Anxiety Worse Over Time

Anxiety thrives in uncertainty. When we avoid something, we leave space for our mind to imagine worst-case scenarios.

The longer we avoid:

• The more power anxiety gains
• The more catastrophic our thoughts become
• The harder it feels to finally face the situation

In therapy, we often see that 9 times out of 10, the feared outcome is far worse in the imagination than in reality.

A Real-Life Example of Avoidant Behavior

A common example of avoidance is dental anxiety. Someone may avoid a routine dental visit because it causes stress or fear. Over time, that avoidance can turn a simple checkup into a painful dental emergency.

The anxiety wasn’t protecting them — avoidance allowed the problem to grow.

This same pattern applies to anxiety, depression, relationships, and personal growth.

How to Break the Avoidance Cycle

Breaking avoidance doesn’t mean forcing yourself to feel confident or calm. It means acting even while feeling anxious.

Here are a few helpful steps:

• Take one small step instead of trying to solve everything at once
• Set a clear, realistic timeline rather than “someday”
• Practice grounding techniques like slow breathing
• Remind yourself that discomfort is temporary

The moment you face what you’ve been avoiding, anxiety loses its grip.

The Relief That Comes After Facing Anxiety

One of the most powerful moments in therapy is when someone realizes the relief they feel after facing what they feared.

That release — the exhale, the sense of calm — is proof that avoidance was never the solution. Facing anxiety creates clarity, confidence, and long-term relief.